It is nice being at PEACE. PEACE is basically when you surrender to Love and Love is wise, abundant and generous. A wonderful feeling where I really I am absolutely never interested in the evil intentions of my sister for me or anyone else I have a real story with. PEACE. I am not sure I would say it is the absence of vices. Only my 10 days of pure sainthood guaranteed that state...for 10 days. I guess I have been teased: what would it be like to actually live as a nun in a nunnery with that exact sainthood free feeling of pure compassion...but for longer and longer each time? I am telling you my friends, ending one's life as a nun or a monk is going to be my vow for a couple of lives after this one, where here, obviously, I am just blessed like a fat possum. God even INSISTED i went out to buy chinese Kirin Icheban tonight. I am not making this up. I told him: No God, as an offering to you, i will not go buy the beer and  stick to an iced latte instead, which you know I love. I really did not care about beer. But God insisted. I figured I had another path than sobriety in store for what is left. And that probably I would have to monitor instead my intake or else I would feel dizzy from the booze. Then this is the lifestyle God provided me as a kickass inspiration set up. 

It sounds so very difficult to be a good nun or a good monk. One who does not fall back into worst than before, based on having disobeyed when you are truly blessed with god's calling. Very difficult. I make no promises as to be the best at it , I have already met way more impressive nuns than I can ever dream of being in the next 100 years ( I hope at least i get to be a nun in the next 100 years, truly, a buddhist one or a catholic one would do). . I am thankful God allows me the peace and love hippy drunk stoner lifestyle without the misery of financial disaster and bad health overall. God truly provides what is JUST RIGHT for us, our capacity. 

For this reason, think not the nun or the monk holier than the drug street hobo, the beggar, the shun, and the housewife or parents of anyone. There are so many fakers, and by that I mean, those that will literally COOK for having been bad nuns and monks in the end. Perhaps those who do it for the wrong reasons.  Follow the flow, the Dao as I have always been enamoured with from a young age. Follow God's inner voice in your heart and soul. Ask Her: what do you want from me to be a good one right now?