It seems like happier people tend to find it easier to be kind to others.  If you are not particularly happy, how can you be kind? You start with raising awareness of consciousness in yourself for who you are: and you allow the self-pity to be felt. It is very hard when no one has ever shown you pity and you are growing up. You cannot distinguish between people taking pity and people humiliating you. very confusing. Anyway, practicing kindness in such a life is still of PRIMORDIAL importance, and yes, it may start by feeling kindness for your sorrowful heart.