I am sitting in the living room. Thinking I am lucky to be alive. I sometimes regeret having been so very ill all my life. But I explored the full spectrum of it and it led me, eventually, to super duper cool visions and understanding beyond what ihad ever known. I was a horrible person in toronto. Super aggressive, negative, anti social. I was most unpleasant top know daily. Very selfish too. It was my crazy diseases that made me so unpleasant. I was very hard to befriend because I was so  aggressive in my behaviour and words. I keep thinking I lost too many years being aggressive and anti social.