aaaaah! I just had a super hot bath: felt awesome. Hubby is smoking upstairs. He is reading on AI, philosophy and also Ukraine. He reads a lot, which I love in him. I barely read anything, no books anymore. It is a lacuna since 2005. I used to think my meds made me dumber, less able to focus deeply and sustainably. Maybe.

Tonight I have nothing planned. I am no longer hungry after the puff pastries apppetizers. If I do get hungry, a simple bowl of rice krispies with strawberries and milk (I got milk tonight) would satisfy me. 

Right now, I am contemplating my thoughts on my next life. It brings  me much comfort whether reincarnation exists or not. The life I thought I would have is that of a nobody nun in india as a black lady. I LOVE it.  I have heard this calling at a young child age: to become, one day, a tibetan buddhist nun. My health and marriage now do not allow me to engage on this path this time. But, IF reincarnation truly exists, I look forward to living the dream hard life of a poor nun all her life in India. I have, sporadically, lived with very little money in my life. I even was a hobbo for a month in 2006. I LOVED the disciplin and simplicity it made me taste. Having a robust health all along and no addictions (cigarettes!!!!!!!!!!) is essential in such a life to truly spiritually enjoy it. I cant wait, if reincarnations are real, to have a pristine mental health so I can enjoy my poverty vow as a young and old nun in India.