All is well. Billy is lying in front of the street window and listening to the kids drawing on the street. I am smoking cigarettes. I feel like I have not had a good cry in a long time. Maybe it would relax me? Not cry out of general sadness, but out of stress, having a bit of trouble coping. Hubby is mostly awesome but tension rose with the return to work. I am fearful of it. So as a worry wart , I get tenser and tenser. I keep myself in check. And try to get great nights of sleep. But this week end, the nice routine we had for months now was off: we were not even eating meals anymore since hubby had stopped eating them. 

Hubby ate without telling me tonight so I made dinner anyway. He ate a small portion of everything. BUt why didn't he want to have dinner together? WE always do usually. Stuff like that, messing with my schedule for upkeep of the house and us really throws me off. Its usually a sign everyone is not taking care of each other. Its such bad timing to have Billy's neuter the first or second week he returns to work. I have to keep VERY reasonable and calm about the whole thing. No pot for me then, the week end before and week of neuter....The whole thing stresses me out too much because of the pre op sedation on top of it.