I am up very late tonight but slept 2 hours. I feel odd: having trouble to focus. My meditation is not as sharp as it used to be. I cant seem to have deep clear feelings today and for a while. It is strange to not have these moments of euphoria and delusions where I talk about reincarnations and future things that will never happen anyway! ah! These stories got me committed by a bad shrink (on my tumblr blog) and I had to be examined by a different doctor to finally get rid of this crazy doctor who does not know anything about cannabis apparently. I miss the feelings that came with these delusions. It was always always fulll of love even when I insulted people I did not know. The feeling of love was very intense and I was inspired. I felt very alive in a strange way. But it was all mind tricks and imagination. Yet how good I felt, elated truly. 

I would go buy rolling papers with Billy at the 7-11, one km away from here, but I am weary of the cougar in the neighborhood. He was seen right down the road in the forest but they do come in urban areas at times. One followed a teenager on the streets in Port Coquitlam then was killed. They can be very cheeky in urban areas and that worries me tonight enough that I may not go buy rolling papers.