He talked a lot to me. It was necessay at last, now that he relaxed a bit after his holiday home. It was so sad. He is super super sad. I wrecked his life basically because he chose to be with me. According to him, he lost everything because of me. I can understand why he says that. He blamed his pot addiction on my health. He blamed losing his tenure track on me. He lost his mental health here because of me. That is how he feels so he is super sad and so am I. I am very ordinary but on top of it, I am nuts. Maybe my version of our story is only that: a version of mine. He obviously has his own. I am such a failure on all fronts. My being with him destroyed him. I love him and he loves me. I guess I am toxic because of my mental health. How unfair to be that bad an influence on the person I love the most on earth.
The Poetry DervishÂ