2:30am

I resist going to bed: I feel too sad to sleep on it. But it is the only wise decision. My family has always been a source of depressive thoughts. Mostly, we watsed so much time learning to hate each other instead of appreciating and listening truly. My mother has completely forgotten who I was as a teenager. They never trusted me. They would lock their cellar of wines when they left and, get this, count the mileage on their car to see if I took it when I was 19. I was a super straight young woman, an athlete actually (that is why I could look sane at the time)...It is so very hard to feel loved throughout my life by my parents. I never broke their trust and yet they never trusted me. I know now thye are my biological parents and it is so very difficult to think of that. My parents hated my creative freedom. With not such a paranoid hateful education on me, I would have probably been way better adjusted and never been sick. They destroyed my young mind. They are fools then. Not their fault.