I still have not gone back out after this morning to buy smokes. The sun seems too hot but it truly is not. Coffee is being made. I feel like smoking pot. I don't want to face the day! sings a NZ band from the 80s... Coffee is ready.

Hubby does not want to share his pot with me because I told him it makes me crazy over the long run..which seems to be true when I increase how much I smoke progressively.

I spoke to Jean Noel, my dad, on the phone today. He seemed joyful to hear me. They have a beautiful day in Montreal today but more snow expected this week. The mantra cd is playing. Dad has stopped losing weight from his own gut problem (like Billy's).  

I cherish my Quebec culture way more than my Canadian at large culture. Except for immigrants which I think Quebec did very badly (quebec is, can be, rather racist). But the  music is ok, the sentiment of many singers is interesting sometimes, the videos which show Montreal hoods where I used to live bring me home each time...I think of Vincent Vallieres On va s'aimer encore...I even have an acquaintance in this video who is an artist and not an  actor do some takes and be seen in this video. 

I want to cry as I sip my radler. All is well though but hubby is losing his job and war is in europe. I don't want to go outside. I don't know why. I am listening to mantras right now and feel at home, peaceful, and I don't want to leave this bubble. I miss Quebec a bit today. The language. The culture. My friend Danny is not replying to my emails so I fear he is not doing too well. I speak with his wife regularly online. But not him. 

I feel sad today but hopeful I think. We will get a WW3 of course eventually, but I hope I am dead from lung cancer or whatever before then! Which I most likely won't be...as someone with mental problems, I really really fear a war. I need my meds and fascists always come for us first in any war!