I am so tired I just slept about 14 hours..It MUST be my thyroid or its my heart. I am pretty discouraged at my rebirths coming after the black nun. ALL rather bad. Except the Bollywood lady and after that for ever....So thats like what...400-500 years of stupidity at my vows and then I am a saintly woman again. Oh man, it sucks big time to be so ordinary. When will i awake again? As a thai nun only! In about 450 years. A bit less, maybe 300 years. I die young after next life for a while.I may awake as a christian indian man in about 300 years. But for buddhism, we have , I have, to wait.  I dont know why it is so slow and hard. I am impatient I suppose. That is why God gives me bad rebirths in many ways: so I can hurry up and cleanse my soul quicker to be worthy of enlightenement as fast as I can be without being completely destroyed by sufferings. I guess so anyway. I will be a good poet again but I dont sound too  bright as a man the first time. Just no education whatsoever. Sigh. The black lady is a very sweet life. I wanted to feel independent and smart: I will. I wanted to be succesful and a mother: I will be. I wanted to be a nun: I will be. I wanted to be a saint: I will be for real! I take many vows at the end of my life when I realize good times are over for a while: including, fast enlightenment, nun and monk life again and poverty. May God guide us all my sisters and brothers and may She remember us always. May Buddha teach in His or Her grand mercy to us all how to never come back to earth.BTW, I will always love man as a woman. Only the Dalai lama will not really want them as a woman.