I wont say it but I fear for tongue or mouth cancer for my last days. That would suck enormously after what I have lived through. But I was pretty rude to God. Too much anger for real. I think I may very well lose speech somehow. How tough is life when you are not a diva! But a spiritual messenger instead. I have very little irritation at it right now. It is just a stepping next into merit and purging for good message. A Wholesome message: I am not perfect. Like you. And my anger and rudeness to God was epic I must say while in paradise here. I am definitely not done being disappointed for a while. I should not be truly: it is just that- LIFE! And though I wish I dont have tongue cancer or mouth cancer, I dont know what will happen. I know I will do chemio for a mere three weeks. But God knows for what cancer linked to cigarette....Be my friend if you know me.